Be sure to check out my post on week 1 of “The Comparison Trap” as well as last week’s message from North Point.
I wonder if…? It’s a whisper that we’re all familiar with.
It’s a negative thought that can be crippling if we spend too much time focusing on it. This isn’t something that we learn over time, it’s a question that is written into our very being. It’s a question that comes out of a longing for something that is missing.
Tonight started week one of “The Comparison Trap” with Andy Stanley. If 2012 continues with the trend of every other message this year, it’s going to be a heavy year at North Point. No one will be able to say that it’s a “fluff” church. Every week has left me with something to think about and this week is no different.
It’s in our nature to compare ourselves to other people. We simply can’t help it. If you just thought to yourself, “I don’t compare myself to others”, you just did. You just compared yourself to me because I do compare myself to others. It can’t be escaped.
Click here to read “Vengeance Part 1″.
Stop what you’re doing right now and think about the last time someone hurt you? What happened? How do you feel about it now? Not how you felt then, but how do you feel now?
Are you angry at the person who hurt you? Would you be fine if you never heard from that person again?
Vengeance: The infliction of pain on another in return for a hurt or a wrong.
This week at North Point, John Woodall (Twitter), the Director of Married Community Groups and former Care Director, spoke on the topic of “Vengeance.” Continuing in the trend of the other messages at church this month, John’s was another reality check.
Are you aware of your subtle ways of taking vengeance?
“Hurt happens.” We’ve all been hurt and we’ve all hurt someone. And it’s human nature to want to get back at that purpose, to seek revenge, vengeance. We want to inflict pain on those who hurt us.
When I think of the word “vengeance” I think of scenes from movies when the bad guy gets what he deserves. The hero has been wronged, or someone he loves has been hurt, and the bad guy(s) have to pay.
John said that his wife defines vengeance as: “What I enjoy doing to people who hurt me.” When something wrong is done, someone has to pay.
However, vengeance isn’t always a really elaborate reaction to the person who hurt us. Sometimes vengeance is much quieter.
We withdraw.
We belittle.
We hold a grudge.
We suppress.
But as Christians, we’re instructed to go about this an entirely different way. “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Try to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes” (Romans 12:17 HCSB). And Paul wrote to the Christians in Rome who were being persecuted: “Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord” (Romans 12:19 HCSB).
We are not supposed to take our own revenge against people who have wronged us. God will properly avenge any wrongs that have been done. Our job, as Christians, is to
Engage, not withdraw.
Be humble, not belittle.
Let go of things, not hold a grudge.
Process and not suppress.
Giving someone the quiet treatment or a cold shoulder because they were a jerk to you does no one any good. Instead, engage with that person and fix the relationship.
I’m really guilty of belittling people. When someone makes me mad or does something I don’t like, I’m probably going to say something about it…to everyone else. I will do my best to tear that person down in subtle and not so subtle ways. Instead of doing that, I should really just shut up about the problem I’m having with someone and engage with that person.
I know some people who can hold grudges longer than the other person will even remember the incident. And from personal experience, I know that most grudges are usually over really stupid things. It seems like it’s easier to deal with big issues than it is small issues, so we just hold a grudge against the other person. This often plays out in passive-aggressive behavior against people whom we interact with and are the subject of a grudge.
Sometimes, instead of dealing with a problem, we shove it way down inside of us. Eventually it works to the top and someone is the innocent victim. I usually like to deal with a problem as soon as I can, but sometimes circumstances prevent this. Because I want to personally move on, I’ll bury the issue until something triggers a response to it again. It can get ugly.
What about you? Which of those four types of vengeance are most guilty of? Is there anyone in your life who you have shut out because they wronged you in some way?
“Jesus let people be consumers, but wanted them to become followers.”
–Andy Stanley
This is week two in the “Trading Up” series at North Point Community Church.
Salvation is free; it cost you nothing.
Following Chris will eventually cost you something.
Jesus is about to ask his disciples and followers to make the biggest decision of their life. He asks them who people say he is and who they thing he is. I don’t think this was a trick question. I think Jesus just wanted them to make a decision as to which side they were on without revealing what that was going to mean to them.
At this point, Jesus asks his disciples and the crowd to stop being followers and become consumers: “If anyone wants to be My follow, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me” (8:34).
But Andy pointed out that this isn’t an all or nothing deal. You can be a follower, then a consumer, and again a follower. It’s a cycle that happens and it’s OK.
Jesus was telling those around him: “If you want to follow Me, sometimes you’ll have to say no to you.” Saying “no” to anyone, especially yourself, is hard to do.
“…Take up his cross…” To those in the crowd, this only represented death. I can only imagine the murmurs in the crowd: “Did he say we have to die if we follow him?”
The disciples had it easy up to this point. They had been with a popular teacher who could perform miracles, and they had gotten to be involved in many of those. They had seen him heel blind people and bring people back to life. They were following Him, but they hadn’t been asked to do anything that would risk their lives.
“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it…” (8:35a). Everyone dies. Everyone who devotes their life to staying healthy dies. Everyone who tries to latest miracle drug dies. Everyone. “…but whoever loses his life because of Me and the gospel will save it” (8:35b). But for those who are willing to sacrifice it all will live. (Hint: this isn’t a physical life.)
What Jesus is referring to here is our soul.
“What good is it for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul?” (8:36 TNIV)
“For what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” (8:37 NASB)
We’re going to lose everything on this side of death the moment we die. We can make the choice to just follow Jesus and hang onto everything we have here and lose it all in the end, or we can get rid of those things we’ll lose anyway, and consume the Thing we won’t lose in the end.
The answer to the question in verse 37 is “Everything.” Is it worth clinging to the things we’ll lose anyway in exchange for our soul?
My soul > My things
What if that was how we lived our lives?
Jesus warns us what will happen if we pick our things instead of Him: “For whoever is ashamed of Me and of My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels” (8:38).
If we cling to the things we can’t keep, we lose the thing that puts us in a far greater story.
We know what we gain if we decide to follow Christ; it will cost something, maybe everything. But refusing to follow Christ, that will cost your soul.
You either die of something or you die for something. Which will you choose?
I know how I want to answer, but I don’t know if it’s the honest answer right now. I don’t know that I’m willing to be a true consumer yet.